muddled up

I’ve started to hate these moments
These moments of conflicts
These moments of hesitation
These moments of confusion
These moments of indecisiveness.

I’ve never been an indecisive person
But here I am now
Going to and fro
Between the shoulds and shouldn’ts
Between the ifs and buts
Between the whethers and whatifs.

I’ve never been a bewildered person
And here I am now
Muddled in my own thoughts
Struggling through the assumptions
Demented from the chaos
That you’ve caused to my mind.

I’m in the middle
Of the process of comprehending
And there you are again