This Urdu writing craze was kind of going wild, so I ended up writing a Ghazal. It all started out of the blue since I was sitting in a lecture hall and I was supposed to note down what the types of Marxism are.. instead, I wrote one of these couplets.
This is my first attempt at Ghazal, so I’d really love to know what you thought of it and how I can improve myself. Also, this time I slightly crooked the margin (which was imaginary, no I don’t draw lines when I write stuff) so.. yeah. Pardon. Cause ya know. Second attempt = fail.
Plus, this might be my last post for a while since I have a huge busy month coming ahead. So.. pray for me may be?
Okay, here you go.
Transliteration :
Meri haya per thi nazar e khaas uss ki,
Qaatilana nazron se jo dekha, dil haar gaya.
La taalluq sa taalluq uss se jura tou,
Har mehfil mein uss ka zikr baar baar gaya.
Tishnagi kay baad farawaaniye muhabbat jo mili,
Har hadd ko muhabbat ki wo paar gaya.
Yaad e maazi ne jab kiya thikaana uss k dil mein,
Chashm e tar liye wo koocha e yaar gaya.
Huzn o yaas se bhari raaten uss ki,
Bardaasht na kar saka jo, andher e ghaar gaya.
Uss kay tabassum per munhasir thi har saans meri,
Wisl e rooh kay baad jo soya, mujhe maar gaya.
Taarikiyon ko taktay guzarti hain raaten ab meri,
Sambhaal khud ko mehtaab, ab tera dildaar gaya.
[That’s the takhallus I selected for myself. Somebody please tell me that its not taken, cause I googled and they said that its not. Hah.
p.s. Nothing holds literal meaning in this piece of poetry. Read it as a ghazal, just a ghazal. Thank you.]
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November 17, 2015 at 11:16 am
Para 6, second from last was best, a scent of sufi and mystic poetry. Rest are beautifully crafted love lyrics. Ghazal truly comes from heart, and of course writer must have a knack of words.
Kudos!
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November 17, 2015 at 11:23 am
Thank you for your kind words and for the visit, Vama.
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November 17, 2015 at 5:30 pm
Awesome. Keep writing. Btw I’m sure that takhallus must be taken 😛
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November 17, 2015 at 5:40 pm
Haye thank you that means so much. You too keep writing!
Nah, its not. Gimme a source, phir I’ll try to change it. 🙂
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November 18, 2015 at 4:41 pm
Lol you’re welcome 🙂 and I don’t have any source 😛 I just think that it must be taken 😛 but if it’s not then you’re lucky 🙂
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November 18, 2015 at 6:28 pm
Oh. Nah its not, filhal. I searched and then made it mine. A huge fan of authentication here.
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November 18, 2015 at 2:29 am
I relate to writing while lectures are going on coz I do that myself. Good Luck for your exams.
And wow!! Beautiful Mahaah. If this is an “attempt” then please attempt more!!
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November 18, 2015 at 8:49 am
Hahah. Thanks yaar 🙂
Yeah, I sure will try.
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November 18, 2015 at 5:33 am
I dont want to be critical again :p phir se tazmeen likhni pare gi haha. achi handwriting ha tbh i wish meri bhi aisi hi hoti. Sigh!
about the post. again this is not a ghazal Mahaah, it is a poem… if you want me to help you with urdu poetry, you can always ask for that.
couplet number four and the second last one were brilliant though. i really liked them. God Bless
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November 18, 2015 at 8:54 am
Exactly, then don’t 😛 jk.
Thank you. Yeah I know I’ve this chaltay phirtay Mirza Ghalib just right there 🙂
Bhui I was taught that ghazal has a radeef, qaafiyas, matla, maqta, takhalus, mubalgha arai, tashbeehaat o ita’aarat.. So I tried my level best to do all zat. Still if there’s stuff missing, I’ll try to improve myself in the future, for sure. 🙂
Thanks again for liking some of it.
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November 21, 2015 at 7:09 am
Ah i am not even khak of ghalib. He is the best 🙂
I will write a post about the basics of ghazal in two three days when i am back home. You will find it helpful insha Allah.
Plus your poem doesn’t have a matlaa which is the first basic :p
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November 21, 2015 at 8:20 am
A matter of perceptions, I must say. Comprehend all the meanings by yourself.
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November 22, 2015 at 8:12 am
Nice reply
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November 22, 2015 at 10:23 am
I’m reading this again after having skimmed through it the other day. First of all, I am glad that you are keeping up your Urdu writing phase. That’s really great.
Secondly, the whole piece felt like a tale. One that captured my imagination.
Thirdly, I won’t choose any favourite lines because I think they all contribute to the bigger picture.
And your handwriting, like always, masha Allah.
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November 24, 2015 at 9:41 am
I was waiting for this long comment haha. And yes, I tried to make it a tale in itself. Taylor Swift’s fan here, so yeah. 🙂
Thank you so much Superman. Keep on encouraging me. Much needed thing it is 🙂
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November 24, 2015 at 2:49 pm
No problem. Will look forward to your next Urdu post.
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November 24, 2015 at 5:56 pm
🙂
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November 23, 2015 at 11:18 am
I nominated you for something. If you can check it out here mam.
https://elegiesandaches.wordpress.com/2015/11/23/3-days-3-quotes-challenge/
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December 3, 2015 at 7:51 am
You are going great Mahaah with the Urdu Poetry.
Maine inspire kiya haii na Urdu Poetry likhne ko….Wowo….:D 😛
“Meri haya per thi nazar e khaas uss ki,”
SHuruaat hi itni Azeem haii…loved it 🙂
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December 3, 2015 at 10:22 am
I know. But I messed up the matlaa
Mhmm, you reignited the spark. No doubt. Thanks for that.
Kyunkay likhne wali hi itni Azeem hai. 😀
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December 6, 2015 at 6:30 pm
Sirf Azeem nahi Mahaaaaaaaaaaa Azeem haii….:P
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December 30, 2015 at 8:12 am
WAH ! …. if this is your first attempt .. i cant imagine what would come out of your pen after continuous attempts! .. bohat bohat aala .. har sher apni jagah aala hai .. aur pehla sher to akheer
aur likhai bhi bohat pyari hai … larkion ki likhai hoti hi pyari hai .. humain to koshish kar ke likhna parta hai
keep writing more , subscribing to your blog through reader 🙂
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December 30, 2015 at 11:07 am
Thank you for your kind words and for stopping by, Ali.
Yeah I sure will try. Thanks again. 🙂
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April 23, 2016 at 6:30 pm
Read this again. Damn.
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