Do you ever get a feeling so great that you’re terrified that it wouldn’t last cause it is temporary and then you feel sad instead of cherishing the moment? You feel like its happening but its slipping outta hands and I love this moment but I’m so stressed that it will pass. I’ve started to feel this way more often than I should. I start panicking if I don’t take photos of that moment, or don’t write it out.. cause I know that after some years, I am going to forget about it and I really don’t want to forget. I want to remember things. All of them. Also.. I fear if the person I’m with.. or someone who’s the cause of my happiness is the human I get into a fight with. What will I do then? Leave?
The whole pixie dust case scenario turns into sand dust the moment these thoughts flash through my mind. Like what even. I don’t even know what future holds, why don’t I just live in the moment and then just let it be. Why don’t I just let memories go.. let chances go. Why don’t I try to be human..? Time to stop being a portable hard drive. Time to start living the moments that come ahead. Time to stop trying to take control of everything. Time to let it be. Time to deal with the consequences later.
Hah. Who am I kidding? I’ll stay the same way. Always. That is who I am.