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I plugged in my headset. Swiping up the lock-screen wallpaper, I realized that London Grammar’s Strong was still on repeat. I listened to it once more. The beats soon faded other sounds out. The car that I was in, had me but I wasn’t there. I looked out at the city. The same hustle and bustle. The same deafening noise and the same lanes of vehicles, Karachi has nailed constancy – I thought. I couldn’t hear anything except Hannah’s voice. Still a voice mumbled. My mind’s voice. This is a experience in itself, isn’t it? I questioned. This is a huge city. Your existence might not even matter. You are just another number to make a whole of 24 million. But just look. Look at those lights. Look at all these stories around you. Look at all these faces, double faces. Oh God, is that a new sign board? Remember when you were young – you used to read every single billboard – the try-hard efforts that you used to do to not let a single billboard go unread? You still read most of them, most of which you’ve already seen on the internet. But, that changed, right? You put all your efforts in taking instagrammable photos now. I don’t know if that’s change, but.. Shit. Strong ended and I didn’t even listen to it, I said to myself. Wanna play it again? the voice asked. Maybe? I tapped on the screen anyway. “Excuse me for a while..”, Strong started playing all over again. “I might seem so strong, I might speak so long, I’ve never been so wrong”, the clear lights turned into a shining set of bokeh. I felt my eyeliner-kajal irritate my eyes. Oh crap, why are you getting so emotional? the voice interrupted. Nothing, it’s just – I’m going to miss this city, I thought. I haven’t even seen it entirely, a realization struck. But you’re going to come back alright and then you can explore your hometown all the way you like? the voice said with a Be-Positive sign. I chuckled and wiped away the partial tear that was stuck between two of my lashes. Don’t ever cry with this thing on, okay? Irritation sucks, the voice reminded me. “People like you always want back the love they give away, but people like me wanna believe you when you say you’ve changed.”, Taylor Swift’s voice struck my ear-drum and I legit swiped through all her songs. The people around me, I thought, I don’t know if I even want to meet them before I go. There’s one or two people I’d be glad to tell, but most of them, they don’t even care – the waves of thoughts kept crashing to my brain’s shore. It’s fine, you’re like that – it’s been nineteen years bro, get used to having one or two true friends at a time, will you? Accept yourself before you go, at least, the voice scolded. The things-to-do Before-I-Go list is approximately all crossed up, did you realize? it asked a stupid question again. Yes, there’s so much still left, I sighed. You’re so good with negative fractions, you know? the voice stated sarcastically. Oh, Karachi, Imma miss you so bad bruh – I repeated the same BS. The track changed. “The stars lean down to kiss you..”.. ah, Moe, you suggest amazing songs (if I’m lucky), I thought to myself. I think what I’ll miss the most from this city would be her, I wondered, looking at the veiled moon. You’ll meet her before you go, hopefully, the voice consoled. Yeah there’s still so much to do before I go, I thought to myself as I looked at a triangular web of stars far above my head.

– Mahaah.

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