Baba closed his diary and asked me, “Have you stopped writing? Like, don’t you update your blog anymore?”. The question was quite a surprise for me, as he never really reads what I write. “Why? and how do YOU know?”, I replied with a question. He shrugged his shoulders in a bruh-I’ve-got-some-experience way. “No, you just don’t speak that much now, like the way you used to. I haven’t seen you typing for long hours in a long while as well.”, was his answer.
24 hours passed by.
Bhai came home and I immediately gave him a glass full of water. A conversation began. After a while he put his glass back on a nearby table and asked me a similar question, “Have you stopped writing blogs?”. I wasn’t surprised, for I knew that he had been reading my stuff for quite some time. “Yes.”, I didn’t bother to give him an explanation at first. “Why?”, he was still curious. “Time constraints, I suppose.”, I tried to get rid of the topic. “Well, no, that’s not the matter. You have time for Instagram and not for WordPress? How is that possible?”, he initiated a discussion-like-debate. I thought for a moment and said, “Probably? I think I lost all of my inspiration to write. There are loads of ideas, but words just don’t come together. So yeah.” Noticing the seriousness in my voice, he sarcastically replied, “Or maybe you’re done erupting all your poison into your writings.” and laughed the topic away.
But I am still thinking about the same thing. And I feel extremely sorry for Coleridge. For those of you who don’t know the reference, google him maybe?
Its not that I have actually lost all inspiration, its just the lack of binding words. I don’t think that I can convey my ideas the way I used to. I used to express things nicely, (Look at the word “things”. Sigh.) but I can’t do that stuff again (read at the moment). The lack of ideas isn’t there, neither is the lack of motivation; its the lack of medium and words. Its like, you are thinking, but the procedure stays incomplete because the stuff that you are thinking stays in your mind and can not come out in the form of words. Its like a blank bubble of thought. I don’t even know how to explain what I am trying to say, this photo might help.
Or maybe its just the mere shift of focus. I have been focusing more on my art skills and photography lately. They are working as amazing mediums of expression, and sometimes I write long captions too so that this writing thing doesn’t fade away. But the question remains – how long will it take to come back to me? The spark that always pushed me to write? The eruption through layers of repression – when will it take place? Maybe the only way out is to wait (and to read). I just miss that frictional ignition. That combustion. That diffusion of emotion into words. I hope that I get it back soon.
Till then, enjoy my photography and artworks. Also, stay tuned all you new followers. I am not always like this. And thank you for the follow(s), means a lot.
– Mahaah.
October 19, 2016 at 8:15 am
I feel you bro! For me it’s more laziness than anything. And these days I don’t get enough time alone too..The point being, everyone go through these phases where we feel like we don’t do certain things anymore or not inspired anymore. But we will come back. We keep coming back. And your Instagram page is superb. I’m a follower and fan. Though I’m quite lazy to check it often. (Ah. I always wonder if there’s something to measure the degree of laziness. If yes, I’d damage that apparatus with the degree of mine. 😂😂😂) Happy blogging, happy clicking. 😍
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October 19, 2016 at 2:46 pm
Haha. Thank you.
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October 19, 2016 at 9:03 am
“Or maybe its just the mere shift of focus. I have been focusing more on my art skills and photography lately.”
Maybe this is it. You’re exploring other media and if the others get neglected for a bit, that’s fine. You don’t have to worry about losing anything. It’ll come back if and when it has to. Till then, focus on what you have. Grow, evolve.
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October 19, 2016 at 2:46 pm
Omg you actually read this. T_T
Anyway, maybe you’re right. Maybe I fret over stupid stuff. Thenks.
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October 21, 2016 at 7:54 pm
Ah yaar how did I miss this post? Weird. 😛
I did google him but I am toooo lazy to read. XD
Your photography is very awesome Mahaah.But your writings…I do miss them. 🙂
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October 22, 2016 at 11:20 am
Somehow. Haha.
Kheyr hai.
Thanks yar. 🙂
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October 31, 2016 at 3:43 pm
It’s alright to focus somewhere else, you know… It’s nice to see the phases you go through on this blog… Art, literature, photography… It’s all beautiful in it’s own way 🙂
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November 1, 2016 at 6:42 pm
That’s so sweet of you to say that. Means a lot. Keep spreading positive glitter around you like a hopeful happy unicorn. ❤
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November 2, 2016 at 2:37 pm
^_^
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November 2, 2016 at 5:02 am
Its probably a writer’s block. I also got it, thought it was over. All my passion for writing but no words to express with… It happens. Give your mind a rest, try new things, find new inspirations and don’t push it. It will come to you. Good luck Girl!
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November 2, 2016 at 6:53 pm
Oh hey, thanks for these kind words and for stopping by. 🙂
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November 3, 2016 at 2:24 am
🙂
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December 21, 2016 at 8:44 pm
OmG I often feel the same exact thing, I have been spending all my time reading your posts today and I feel so hooked that I can’t help but continue. Despite this empty bubble of thought you talk of, you have done an amazing job putting it in words because I can so well relate!:)))
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December 22, 2016 at 12:04 pm
Haha. Thank you so much! I don’t have words to describe how happy I am to see your comments!
This was a period, I am kinda out of that art block now I guess. Thanks again
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December 22, 2016 at 1:00 pm
I can relate with that too because honestly I suck at handling compliments xD But yeah, u really made the impact!^_^ And yess such blogs don’t last long, specially for artistic people like you
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December 22, 2016 at 5:32 pm
Hey shush. These compliments are more than enough 😁
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December 23, 2016 at 1:32 pm
I was actually genuinely very excited because this was the second time I clicked with another blogger in thattt way, u know as if u guys know each other for a long time and it was always known you’ll cross each other’s paths but it was just about the right timing (just like all of it one sidedly-my side that is xD)
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December 29, 2016 at 6:04 pm
Hahah. I’ll let you know about my side when I have read your stuff. That’ll happen soon, hopefully. 😊
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