lonely forest

“It’s my experience that people are a lot more sympathetic if they can see you hurting.” – Jennifer Niven, All The Bright Places.

The title for this post is the opposite of the title of the book that I mentioned above. To me it’s the opposite. The exact-almost-opposite. The word-to-word-literal-opposite. Since to me if a place exists, then its opposite is going to be a non-existing place, which is going to be a void. Nothing. Blank. Absolutely nothing.
I tried to look for the exact word but I couldn’t find one, for the opposite of places. But this is not what I’m here to write. This train of thought is pretty fucking wild, isn’t it?

I kind of hung onto this line in the book. It’s true. I couldn’t deny it because truer words have never been spoken. Maybe they have. Taylor Swift is best musician of all time. Gah. Can I finish writing what I’m thinking about before losing control over it? For one second? Man my brain is an annoying piece of trash sometimes.

So yeah. Back to the point. What was the point? Shit. Wait. Lemme just skim a few words.

Yes. Yeah. Okay. Got it.

You know, when you’re the person who’s chill and never really loses their shit, people don’t expect you to actually lose your shit when you’re losing your shit. I’m not referring to flushing the toilet right now. I am referring to it metaphorically. Urban-metaphorically. Internet-metaphorically. However you like it.

When you’re feeling sort of empty and this wave of nothingness hits you, you’re not supposed to show it on your face or in any way possible. “Conceal, don’t feel, don’t let them know.”, just like Elsa’s father asserts. People don’t seem to understand what you’re going through if they can’t see it. For instance, if you are covered in smallpox or have your leg wound up in a cast, they’ll surely feel sorry for you and might even utter some words of consolation. BUT. If you black-out during an exam for various reasons that are not visible or physical, then you’re surely a dumb kid who didn’t prepare for the exam in the first place. Do you see where I’m going with this?

Stuff that happens inside one’s head matters just as much as stuff that happens outside.

When are people going to understand that?

How can you make people educate themselves about this without freaking out about it or treating you in a weird, fragile, alienated way.

Maybe all you can do is… Haha. Did you really think I’d say something along the lines of a solution? YOU WISH! This is South-Asia, people. Brown people don’t understand shit. Especially if they are older and not from your generation.

Maybe all you can do is… not do anything at all.

Or.. wait. You could recommend them All the Bright Places. To read. To understand. To learn.

– Mahaah.